like, omfg.

mankind is never happy; as soon as we get rid of one horrid ailment that torments our lives, we are beset by a more malevolent one. we of nature are so selfish and self-centered that it is a sad fact that the most taxing and genuinely painful of one's ailments may constitute paradise for another. such is the social divide of our lives which makes us wonder whether God just created us as a sick joke, as a warning to his angels to never go astray, or whether He simply got drunk one day and decided to play The Sims. it is the savageness of the human condition that renders us inherently selfish; yet it is our selfishness that also makes us savage. this is probably a sentiment posed by many, but i am really particularly disturbed by it. is there not any way we could all escape from such a conundrum? is there not a way to exile our savage nature and attain a true utopia where we are beyond such petty worries? is a machine state, or worse, a hive mind system like the borgs in star trek really the only way to progress? 

 hello, all. i am back from church camp. how was it, some may ask. it was as good as cream pie on the first day, but everything quickly went wrong after that. during sermon, i was caught by two elder deacons masturbating in the toilet using my bible materials as a wrap round. kind of like a burrito. mmm. i love burritos. i was dragged out kicking and screaming, insisting that the word of God got me all heated up and excited, hence the manual foreplay. i was thrown onto the stage, bottom naked, in front of my brethren of God-Fearing fellow campers, all obviously rudely shocked and some pleasantly aroused by the sight of a Man they Know with his dong out onstage. i was dithering in confusion and fear by then, because we all know even Great Men feel fear. i was tied by 'holy ropes', basically normal ropes soaked in holy water overnight, and i was stripped of my shirt and the rest of my dignity as well because, you know, you gots to make things whole. why they wouldn't put my pants back on is anyone's guess. i was whipped by a holy whip, which is basically whipped cream made with holy water, and i was set upon by the dredges of the camp society: the sunday school children. in their frenzied attack on my whipped genitals, i could vaguely make out embarrassed faces in the crowd, some trying not to throw up their breakfast, some taking out pictures, no doubt to sell for a fetching price. i was then nailed to a cross, and hoisted up several feet high, so that blood rushed and hoisted up something else, if you know what i mean. the elder priest, with his ever trusty faux gold plated bible purchased from the salvation army thrift store at a very reasonable price started whipping me more and reading verses from that bible. i could not help but notice the lottery tickets he uses as bookmarks stuffed all over his bible, one at john, one at hebrews, two in psalms. he yells, "begone, demons!" several times, and lolls his tongue out for dramatic effect but frankly, all i can feel is a draft upon my hapless genitals. for fear of this dragging on and possibly intruding onto lunchtime, i scream a pathetic death metal scream "WOOOARGH" and said "well, you got me buddy. till we meet agEEEAAIIINNNN ARRGHHH..." and i hung my head and pretended to faint. they proceeded to bring me down and clothe me, and they praised me for being so brave and shit for having an actual beast residing within my shell of a body in mortal kombat with my soul. for my bravery, they rewarded me two female slaves for my enjoyment and we made love all night and i really enjoyed it even though one slave had abit of a moustache. i come back from this camp refreshed and two slaves richer. i will indeed recommend my friends to join this camp and to masturbate indiscriminately anywhere, anytime.

nah, i wish. church camp was OK.